Did You Ever Love Me?
by anxious.soul
Summary: Loki ends up kidnapping Tony one day. The next day a man from the past, long dead and gone appears in the tower. Add in a question that Tony wants to ask. (It's Howard Stark, I can't add him to the characters bit, so I'm just saying it here).


**Inspired by a scene in 'A Guide To Recognising Your Saints'. Basically, I saw RDJ's character shouting 'Did you love me?" to his dad and I really wanted to use that in a Tony Stark story, so here goes.**

* * *

Tony was not amused. Not at all.

He'd left the tower with the intention of grabbing some coffee as there had been none in the tower, which confused him -how could there be _no_ coffee? Sure it was probably stupid to leave on his own with only an hour of sleep within the last seventy-two hours and therefore meaning he was barely away of anything around him. Hell, he'd left the building in a scruffy AC/DC t-shirt and ripped pair of jeans, his hands and face had smudges of oil and grease on them! Does it help that the only thing running through his mind was literally just _'Need coffee. Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee'_ nothing else, just ramblings about coffee. Sure it was no secret that Tony not only lived off of the beverage but also that he was practically unaware and _unconscious_ without a single drop in his body! So taking advantage of his lack of attention, he ended up being kidnapped…before he even got the coffee, which was just rude and mean.

So there he was. Snuggled in a blanket on a soft and rather comfortable couch inside a cosy little home. Problem? Sitting in front of him was Loki. Sure Loki was mind-controlled when he invaded Earth with the Chitauri, but he was still the God of Mischief and at least once a month he would cause some kind of irritating trouble. Luckily it was nothing harmful, only ever resulting in a handful of civilians getting mildly injured. His line of thought was broken when something with a delicious smell was being waved in front of his face. Tony's eyes widened and his mouth watered.

" _Coffee! Gimme gimme!"_ He moaned and all but downed the cup, then he looked down at his empty mug and with an adorably large pout completed with large brown puppy eyes, "More…please…" Even Loki would be heartless to not fill his mug up with more coffee. This time Tony slowly drank it -as a normal person would. Tony appeared to be more awake now. "Wait a minute." He muttered looking around from his blanket cocoon, "Why am I here?"

"I wanted to talk."

" _Why?_ "

"Because we are more alike than you think, Stark."

"Eh? Whatever. Speak. Just know this blanket is coming home with me."

"That is fine." Surprisingly, the god smiled softly. "You and I are far more alike than you may imagine. I am sure, however, that my brother has seen the similarities, may be why he took a liking to you so quickly. Always ready to defend you, whether you believe you deserve it or not." Tony looked like he was about a speak but when Loki shot him a look, he went against it. "You intrigue me, Stark. It's interesting to see that the consequences of a bad parent from a person other than myself."

"Loki, I'm nothing special. There are people who have grown up far worse than I."

"There will always be someone with a worse situation, Stark. It does not mean that you are any less important. It is not a competition of who has life worse."

"Wise."

"I am not known as the Silver Tongue for no reason. The point is Stark, you need to open up. Those feelings you are bottling up will explode one day and you will hurt yourself and others around you."

"Why do you care?" Tony's voice held no anger, just exhaustion,

"Because I am proof of what could result should you not speak out."

"What? I'll end up mind controlled and try to invade the planet?" Tony knew he took it too far even before he saw Loki flinch, "Sorry."

"That is not what I meant but when I finally blew up I hurt so many people and as a result of that I ended up in the hands of Thanos and thus invaded Midgard. What I am saying, Star…Tony, is that you need to tell someone. Tell one of the Avengers maybe?"

"Easier said than done."

"It is far easier once you start." Loki looked deep into Tony's eyes, "It may help if you ask the question that has been circling your mind your whole life."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, you do. One can not simply lie to the God of Lies."

"I can't ask."

"I'm sure you'll feel better once you've asked."

"I just can't."

"Why not?" Tony stood up as best as quickly as he could, letting the blanket topple to the ground,

"I can't because he's dead! I want to ask my dad if he loved me but I can't 'cause he's fucking dead!" Tony shouted much to the surprise of Loki, though the God regained his posture within a millisecond,

"I see." Loki clicked his fingers and the door opened, in charged the Avengers. Loki stood behind Tony partly using him as a shield, "You should sleep, Stark." Loki trailed a finger down Tony's cheek from where he stood, the others could see green emitting from the finger and raced forward to catch Tony as he began to fall to the ground. Thor caught him and wrapped the blanket around him before searching for his brother who had vanished.

"What did the bastard do to him?" Clint asked,

"Have care how you speak. Anthony is only sleeping, my mother used this spell frequently to assist warriors with their sleep when they were plagued by night terrors. She taught my brother and I suspect he picked up on the man's lack of peaceful sleep. Anthony will not wake until tomorrow morn. No harm will come to him." Thor answered before the group headed back home.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

He woke up slowly and confused. He'd just been with Loki and now he was in his bed waking up from what was quite possibly the best sleep he'd ever had. He also knew that it couldn't have been a dream as the evidence was curled around him in the form of the blanket. Stumbling out of bed and stretching, Tony made his way to the communal floor, rubbing at his eyes as he went.

"That was the best goddamn sleep I've ever had." He murmured as he made himself a coffee, once he had taken a nice swig of the burning liquid, he turned to the rest of the room, "Why you guys so quiet?" He asked before his brown eyes widened and the cup of coffee slipped from his grip as he stumbled back into the side of the kitchen counter. "What the hell?"

"Tis the work of my brother, Loki. He shan't remember anything when he returns to his time." Thor explained…sort of. Tony stared in shock and horror as he saw his father -his _dead_ father talking happily with Steve in a way the genius had never known or seen. The words he wanted to say were at the tip of his tongue. They were burning in his mouth. A voice echoed in his mind, telling him to say them. He opened his mouth and…turned sharply on his heel, watching as the elevator doors closed swiftly behind him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror inside the lift. Closing his eyes and rubbed them, hoping to rid them of the tears that wished to fall. Opening them, brown met green. Instead of his own reflection, he found himself staring at Loki, who stared back.

"Ask him." Tony hastily stepped out of the elevator as it opened. He walked through the illusions of Loki that appeared repeatedly in his path. Telling him almost desperately to ask his father the question, but the genius ignored the god and set to upgrading some of the Avengers equipment.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

"Anthony." Tony barely looked up as he threw a wrench at the image, except Loki caught it. "I am real." Chuckled the God of Mischief,

"I've heard you plenty of times, Loki, you can go now."

"Yes. Though you have yet to do anything."

"On the contrary," Tony muttered gesturing to the upgraded gear surrounding him,

"Tis not the point."

"Thy doesn't giveth a damn." He mocked quietly and they sat in silence for a few minutes before Tony let out a low sigh, "Why are you doing this Loki? What do you get out of this?"

"I get nothing out of this. I am merely trying to help you." Loki leaned forward on the sofa and with another sigh, Tony wheeled over to him on his chair and the two stared at each other. "The very same question tormented me for years long before I knew about my true identity. Though once I learned of it, the question burned more harshly afterwards. I almost never asked." Loki looked down at his hands, "I sought the answer from both of my parents and I eventually I asked. The answer was positive. It was what I wanted." Loki looked back up, staring deeply into Tony's brown eyes. His green eyes were shining with emotion. "Barely two days later, my mother was murdered." Tony squirmed slightly at the intensity of Loki's gaze, "Had I not asked, I would've never known. That terrifies me." Hesitantly the god reached out and grasped one of Tony's hands. "You never took the opportunity to ask, but now you do. I advise you and highly suggest you take the this once in a lifetime chance and _ask_. You will regret not asking."

"I…touching as that was, Reindeer Games, I have no question for him."

"You are afraid." Tony's head snapped up, brown eyes wide as they stared at Loki, "You are afraid of the answer, so you rather torment yourself with the question and knowledge of never knowing. Fear is temporary, regret is forever." Before Tony could respond, Loki disappeared leaving behind a confused and shocked genius.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

"Anthony!" This time it was Thor, who appeared in Tony's workshop bellowing, unlike Loki's quiet whisper, "Tis time for dinner!"

"Be right up." He said dismissively, but Thor merely waited -it was a known fact that Tony would say that but never show up. Sighing heavily a few seconds later, Tony stood and clapped his hands together, "I swear you are all conspiring against me." It was also not an unusual thing for whoever was sent to collect Tony, to then wait for him. Thor just grinned and threw an arm around the smaller man's shoulder as they wandered into the elevator.

The meal was tense. Everyone kept glancing up and around, if caught they'd hastily look elsewhere. Steve and Howard were still talking, in fact, they were the only ones. The oldest Stark was ignoring Tony and it was so blatantly obvious that it physically hurt. Bruce tried to draw Tony into a conversation, but it was clear that the man was letting his mind wander as he stared down at the fork full of food that had been there for a good few minutes. Inside his head, Loki's words circled repetitively. He felt like he was going insane and soon he couldn't take it any more. Dropping the fork onto his plate with a loud clatter as he stood up abruptly, his chair smacking the ground. Calloused hands gripped the wooden table tightly as his knuckles whitened. Everyone stared at him in silence.

"Did you love me?" Eyes flickered over to Howard who merely raised an eyebrow, "Ever?"

"Sit down, Anthony." Unlike when Thor said his full name, Howard all but spat it out, "I said sit."

"Dad, did you love me or not?" Tony asked but Howard didn't answer and tears began to creep into his beautiful brown eyes, "Daddy, I gotta know." More silence as Howard stared blankly at his son, "Lie to me and tell me you did. Let me feel like the piece of shit I am." The Avengers stared at Tony in horror, surely he knew that they didn't think he was a piece of shit. "Did you love me or not?" His voice rose as his body trembled, "Answer me!" He shouted.

"A father-"

"Cut the bullshit, did _you_ love me or not?" He screamed interrupting the older man before he broke away from the table and ran his hands harshly through his hair, tugging on the dark locks. The room was still and silent save for Tony's slightly laboured breath.

"Of course I did." Tony turned around and found his father standing in front of him, "Of course, I did, Tony."

"Then say it."

"I just did?" Howard said though it was more of a question in his confusion,

"Say the words." The man placed his hands on his son's shoulders, keeping direct contact though anyone could tell the father was unsure on how to act,

"I love you, Tony. You are my greatest creation and I am ever so proud of you." Howard leaned in and kissed the short mans forehead before he faded away. Tony was left staring at the spot where his dad had stood. Not knowing how to react the man backed out of the room, his face blank as he entered the elevator.

He, surprisingly, went to his bedroom to get some sleep. Almost automatically he changed and got ready for bed, where he then laid staring at the ceiling for a few peaceful moments. Turning on his side and curling up, he cried. He cried and he cried. Weeping for the parents that orphaned him at such a young age. Sobbing for the terrible childhood he had…Bawling for his father to have said those words to him at least once in his first twenty-one years of life.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

Wandering into the communal living area the next morning and snatching some of the bacon from the plate that Clint was adding more bacon too (and earning himself a smack when he tried to get more) whilst Steve fried some eggs. Natasha wandered past him, handing the genius his favourite mug filled to the brim with coffee, she kissed his cheek before taking a seat. By the time food had been placed on the table, Thor had arrived, walking in like the living dead before snapping awake to the smell of the food; Bruce too had entered with his nose in a book as per usual as he absentmindedly ate his food and drank his tea. No one said anything. Tony was grateful. He smiled, he grinned and he laughed as the team and family spent the day together, much like their Friday Movie Nights. They just relaxed. It was peaceful (well it was until Clint angered Bruce, causing the Hulk to make an appearance and then fight with Thor…there was _so_ much damage done that Tony practically cried despite the fact that it barely made a difference in the genius' bank). It was…fun. It was just… _perfect_ absolutely _perfect._

Later that night as Tony brushed his teeth and stared at his reflection in the mirror, Loki's face appeared briefly. The green-eyed god smiled kindly and winked before vanishing. It was so quick that Tony wasn't even sure if it had truly happened.

"Thank you, Loki." He whispered despite the uncertainty of the god's appearance, "Thank you." A small smile graced his lips that night as he fell into yet another peaceful sleep.

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 **Anyway,**  
 **Thank you for reading,**  
 **Hope you enjoyed this,**  
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 **Bye~**


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